Relationship Coaching
An attachment-focused approach to relationship change—with structure, warmth, and a little healthy sass.
What is the Relationship Coaching?
Relationship Coaching is a more directive and structured, attachment-informed approach that helps couples create earned secure attachment through intentional, structured, and emotionally grounded work. This isn't just about solving surface-level conflict—this is about transforming how you and your partner show up to love.
This approach integrates decades of research in attachment theory, neuroplasticity, and interpersonal neurobiology to help partners not only feel better—but get better.
Unlike traditional therapy, relationship coaching is a directive growth process. It's structured, active, and rooted in the belief that compatibility and connection are built—not found.
You’ll learn how to:
Rewire your attachment style toward earned secure functioning
Regulate your nervous system in moments of stress or conflict
Build habits of repair, attunement, and emotional presence
Practice vulnerability without losing self-respect
Communicate without falling into old triggers
Shift out of your "adaptive child" patterns and into secure, relational leadership
Relationship coaching is designed for lasting change, not quick fixes.
Think of it like going to the emotional gym: uncomfortable and intimidating at first, sore after because you work hard, empowering over time once you build muscle, and transformative if you stay committed. (And no, unfortunately there’s no “hack” for abs or secure functioning.
Why It Works?
Who This Is For?
This coaching program is ideal for couples who are:
Motivated and ready to do the work
Tired of surface-level connection or conflict loops
Willing to reflect on their own patterns—not just their partner’s
Committed to scheduling time and energy into their relational growth
Wanting not just a "good enough" relationship but a thriving, secure partnership
Open to learning, being challenged, and growing emotionally
As the Harvard Grant Study showed, the quality of our relationships is the number one predictor of life satisfaction. When your relationship gets stronger, everything improves—your emotional health, productivity, parenting, sense of self, and resilience
This immersive coaching experience includes:
Longer 1:1 Sessions (online or in-person)
Core sessions based on the most prominent themes that couples face
Deep coaching on your attachment, nervous system, and relational blueprint
Tangible tools you’ll use for life
This is not therapy. This is coaching for emotional transformation.
(No beanbags, crystals, or “how does that make you feel” unless it actually makes sense to ask.)
What's Included?
Outcomes You Can Expect:
Feeling safe and emotionally connected in ways they’ve never experienced
Communicating without spiraling into fights or shutdown
Responding instead of reacting
Seeing their relationship as a secure base for life, growth, and joy
Shifting lifelong patterns into new secure functioning
This is about healing together—growing as a unit—and building something deeply resilient and real. (Think less "rom-com climax" and more "daily emotional reps.")
About Me
Hi, I’m Natasha, a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Vancouver, BC - but do relationship coaching for those outside of Canada!
For over a decade, I’ve supported individuals and couples in working through trauma, attachment wounds, and relationship challenges. My clinical training includes EMDR, somatic therapy, and nearly every major couples therapy modality out there—Gottman, PACT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Imago, and more. I draw from all of these modalities in my work, but my approach is far from generic.
I’m not the therapist who will sit back and nod while you try to figure out how you feel.
I am directive, collaborative, honest, and fully in it with you. I’ll name what’s happening. I’ll help you see the cycle. And yes—I’ll probably make you laugh while I do it. (Healing doesn’t have to be humorless.)
I believe therapy should be deep—but also human. If you want someone who shows up as a real person, who swears occasionally and shares honestly while still holding clinical depth—you’re in the right place.
A New Kind of Guidance
Relationship Coaching treats the therapist or coach as a relational expert and guide—not just a passive presence. You’re not paying to be asked, “How does that make you feel?”
You’re paying for someone to say:
“Here’s what’s happening. Here’s why. And here’s what to do next.”
Think of it like hiring a guide in a foreign country. If something goes wrong, you want someone who knows the terrain—not someone who says, “I believe the way is within you.”
Look, I’m all for intuition—but if my GPS is glitching and we’re lost in the jungle, I want the guide who pulls out a machete and says, “Follow me.”
That’s what I aim to be in this work: someone who leads with clarity, care, and a bit of grit. Someone who helps you understand what’s happening in real time and gives you a path to reconnect.
Some people aren’t ready for this kind of approach—and that’s okay. But for those who are? The results speak for themselves.
Start Here: Your First Step
If you're considering Relationship Coaching, here's what to do next:
Reach out directly using my contact form below or email me.
Schedule a free 20-minute consult with me directly to see if this model is a good fit for you and your partner.
I’ll walk you through the process, what to expect, and how we can tailor the work to your goals.
This work isn’t easy. But it’s powerful, deep, and lasting. And honestly? Can be kind of fun, too :-)
Schedule your Free 20 Minute Consultation:
Resources I Love & Often Recommend
Because healing doesn’t end when the session does.
Therapy is powerful—but it’s not the only space where change happens.
What you read, listen to, and engage with in between sessions can reinforce the insights and shifts we’re building together.
This is a curated collection of the resources I return to again and again—books, podcasts, videos, and voices I trust deeply. Some will make you think. Others will challenge old stories. A few might feel uncomfortably accurate (in the best way). All are here to support your growth.
These are not substitutes for therapy, but they’re incredibly supportive tools to deepen the work we do together.
Start where you feel curious. Come back when you're ready for more. And if you find something amazing you think I should add—a topic or category you wish was here—please send it my way. This list will grow and evolve just like we do.
Books
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Good Inside – Dr. Becky Kennedy
My favourite parenting book - Blends attachment science with practical tools for everyday parenting. Focuses on connection, repair, and helping children feel safe and understood even during hard moments.The Whole-Brain Child – Dr. Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
A clear, science-backed guide to parenting with emotional intelligence. Helps parents co-regulate and connect instead of react.No-Drama Discipline – Dr. Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
Shows how to discipline through connection, not punishment. Great for those wanting alternatives to time-outs and yelling.The Yes Brain – Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
Encourages emotional resilience and flexibility in kids. Especially helpful for parenting more sensitive, anxious, or strong-willed children.Hold On to Your Kids – Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté
A wake-up call about peer orientation. Focuses on attachment-based parenting and how to stay connected through every stage.Raising a Secure Child – Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper, & Bert Powell
Based on the Circle of Security model. Teaches how to be a secure base for your child and support emotional development with confidence.The Conscious Parent – Dr. Shefali Tsabary
A more spiritual, mindful lens on parenting. Ideal for those wanting to grow through parenting, not just do it right.Tiny Humans, Big Emotions – Alyssa Blask Campbell & Lauren Stauble
Practical, emotionally intelligent strategies for big feelings. Great for parents who want to stay regulated themselves while helping their children do the same.Baby Bomb – Stan Tatkin & Douglas Abrams
For new or expecting parents. Unpacks how having a baby affects the couple dynamic—and how to stay securely connected during the chaos.The Bottom Line for Baby - Tina Payne Bryson
A no-nonsense guide for new parents that breaks down 60+ baby topics—from sleep training to screen time—with clear, science-backed answers. Perfect if you’re overwhelmed by all the parenting advice out there.Matrescence – Lucy Jones
A beautiful mix of science and story that explores how pregnancy and motherhood change your brain, identity, and sense of self. Great for anyone navigating the emotional rollercoaster of new parenthood.To Have and to Hold – Molly Millwood
A validating read on how motherhood impacts identity, emotions, and relationships. If you’re feeling the weight of early parenthood and wondering how it’s affecting your partnership, this one hits home. -
Wired for Love – Stan Tatkin
A neuroscience-based guide to creating secure-functioning relationships. Tatkin explains how to become each other's safest person, not each other's trigger. Essential for couples working to move out of conflict and into connection.Secure Love – Julie Menanno
A must-read if you relate to anxious or avoidant patterns. Julie breaks it down in simple, digestible language that makes attachment theory feel personal and actionable.Fight Right – Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Based on decades of research, this book shows you how to navigate conflict without damaging the relationship. Full of helpful language, step-by-step repair tools, and validation.We Do – Stan Tatkin
Written for couples ready to build a long-term, resilient relationship. A bold and direct manual for creating secure-functioning dynamics before marriage or after years together.Us – Terry Real
Challenges common myths about masculinity, power, and communication. Terry brings nuance and realness to modern love, especially for partners who want to break intergenerational patterns.It Begins With You – Jillian Turecki
A direct, empowering book for anyone ready to stop blaming and start transforming. Focused on self-responsibility, nervous system awareness, and relational maturity.Hold Me Tight – Dr. Sue Johnson
An Emotionally Focused Therapy classic. Teaches you how to understand and repair the emotional bond between you and your partner. Great for couples who want structure for deeper emotional communication. -
Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
A grounded, practical guide to understanding what healthy boundaries actually look like. Great if you’re new to the work or tend to feel guilty saying no.Drama Free – Nedra Glover Tawwab
Focuses on boundaries within family systems and emotionally messy relationships. Clear, direct, and full of real-life examples.Boundaries – Anne Katherine
Less mainstream than some others, but deeply helpful for those recovering from trauma. Offers insight into internal boundaries and how to rebuild trust with yourself.Boundary Boss – Terri Cole
Terri speaks with clarity and conviction. This book is about getting radically honest with yourself, your values, and how you show up in all kinds of relationships—especially the hard ones.The Conflict Cycle – George Faller (YouTube)
Short, funny, and highly accurate. Explains the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic in a way that makes you feel both called out and hopeful.Why We Choose Difficult Partners (Video)
Breaks down why we keep getting stuck in the same types of relationships. Quick, poignant, and perfect for building self-awareness. -
Come As You Are – Emily Nagoski
A must-read for anyone who has ever felt confused or ashamed about their sexual desire. Nagoski combines neuroscience, psychology, and compassion to reframe intimacy through the lens of safety, stress, and context.Come Together – Emily & Amelia Nagoski
This workbook companion to Come As You Are takes the science and turns it into clear, tangible practices. Perfect if you want to put theory into motion.Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel
An exploration of how intimacy and eroticism can coexist in long-term relationships. A beautifully written, paradigm-shifting read that normalizes the tension between safety and desire.Loving Bravely – Dr. Alexandra Solomon
This book blends self-reflection, personal growth, and modern relationship insights. Especially great for those looking to build emotional maturity before or during partnership.Desire – Lauren Fogel Mersy & Michael Vigorito
An inclusive and compassionate guide to understanding and navigating desire. Whether you're dealing with mismatched libidos or just want to feel more connected, this book helps you talk about sex without the awkward.The Erotic Mind – Jack Morin
A deeply affirming exploration of desire, fantasy, and emotional intimacy. Great for those wanting to explore their erotic self with more depth and nuance. -
Men’s Work – Connor Beaton
A real, honest look at the emotional work men often avoid. Connor offers tools and reflections to help men face their inner struggles, stop self-sabotaging, and show up more fully in life and relationships.Of Boys and Men – Richard Reeves
A well-researched and compassionate exploration of the modern male identity crisis—from education to relationships. Helpful context for therapists, parents, and partners trying to better understand what many men are up against.The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida
A modern classic on masculine energy, purpose, and relationship dynamics. While some parts can feel dated or spiritual in tone, many men find it a helpful push toward depth and intentionality in how they show up.For the Love of Men – Liz Plank
A smart, compassionate look at how rigid masculinity hurts everyone—including men themselves. It challenges outdated norms and encourages men to be more emotionally connected, without shame or defensiveness.Boys Will Be Human – Justin Baldoni
Written for younger boys and teens, but still powerful for any man wanting to reconnect with their emotional life. Simple, relatable, and full of gentle encouragement to be kind, vulnerable, and real.Permission to Feel – Marc Brackett
This one helps men build the basic skill of naming and working with emotions—perfect for those who didn’t grow up with emotional language. Backed by science but written with heart. -
Daring Greatly – Brené Brown
This foundational book explores how vulnerability is the gateway to connection, courage, and real belonging. If you've ever worried about being "too much" or struggled with letting others really see you—start here.The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
A compassionate, practical guide to embracing your messy, human self. Explores how shame, comparison, and perfectionism block our ability to live fully and love deeply.The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown (TED Talk)
One of the most-watched TED Talks of all time—for a reason. A beautifully honest look at how letting go of control and armor can lead to true connection.Listening to Shame – Brené Brown (TED Talk)
A deeper dive into how shame shows up in our lives and relationships—and how speaking it out loud is the key to diffusing its power. -
The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
A cornerstone trauma book. Helps explain how trauma lives in the body and how we can begin healing not just mentally, but physiologically.The Body Remembers – Babette Rothschild
A practical, accessible read that connects trauma memory, dissociation, and body-based healing. Great for those who want something straightforward and grounded.Mindsight – Dr. Dan Siegel
Explores how awareness and integration of the brain’s systems can lead to emotional healing. Neuroscience made warm, personal, and truly inspiring.The Origins of You – Vienna Pharaon
Unpacks how our family of origin shapes our adult relational dynamics. Vienna blends story, structure, and insight into one of the most readable books on inner child work.When the Body Says No – Dr. Gabor Maté
A powerful read on how trauma, emotion, and chronic illness are connected. Maté brings deep compassion and challenge to the healing process.In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – Dr. Gabor Maté
Explores trauma and addiction from a lens of deep empathy. Highly recommended if you or someone you love struggles with compulsive coping.Waking the Tiger – Peter Levine
The foundational text in Somatic Experiencing. A body-based, biological approach to trauma healing that has changed the way many view recovery.No Bad Parts – Richard Schwartz
An introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS). Teaches you how to meet every part of yourself—including your triggers and protectors—with curiosity, not shame. -
Modern Friendship – Aimee Lutkin
A funny, thoughtful, and real book on adult friendships. Explores loneliness, connection, and what it means to be a friend in a hyper-digital world.Big Friendship – Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman
A memoir-meets-guidebook on navigating adult friendship with care, courage, and vulnerability. Reflective and affirming.Platonic – Dr. Marisa G. Franco
One of the best modern books on the science of friendship. Offers research, tips, and validation for creating deeper, lasting platonic bonds.
Other Recommendations
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Good Inside with Dr. Becky
A podcast about parenting, reparenting, and learning how to hold space for big emotions—yours and your child’s. Full of helpful language, even for non-parents.Jillian on Love – Jillian Turecki
Relatable, honest, and practical. Jillian answers real relationship questions with compassion and accountability.Secure Love – Julie Menanno
Breaks down attachment, secure functioning, and how to get out of cycles with your partner. Like a private session in podcast form. -
These are some of my favourite voices in the relational, attachment, and self-work space:
Julie Menanno (@julie.menanno)
Jillian Turecki (@jillianturecki)
Dr. Alexandra Solomon (@dr.alexandra.solomon)
Vienna Pharaon (@vienna_pharaon)
Silvy Khoucasian (@silvykhoucasian)
Matthias Barker (@matthiasjbarker)
Therapy Jeff (@therapyjeff)
Jimmy on Relationships (@yourdiagnonsense)
Dr. Julie Smith (@drjuliesmith)
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish (@drtracyd)
Dr. Becky Kennedy (@drbeckyatgoodinside)
Nedra Glover Tawwab (@nedratawwab)
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (@tinapaynebryson)
Terri Cole (@terricole)
